Alie started talking rapidly, worried she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, "I had ... terrible dreams last night. I couldn't wake up and I kept having them one after another ... you were raping me and hurting me, keeping me in the bed so I couldn't get up. It was awful ... awful..."Her voice faltered, tears streaming down her cheeks, and she glanced nervously up at his face for just a moment before continuing, "When I woke up I was so scared ... I completely panicked and I just had to get away. Then I was out in the woods and I was terrified I would get attacked by something and I guess that just kept me going and I made it here.Jake, can you ever forgive me for leaving? I know you would never do those things to me..."JAKEI stood stock still for a long time, even after she finished her explanation. I was shocked at the things her subconscious mind had conjured up and wasn't sure how to react.Finally I registered the look on Alie's face and it was a look that pleaded for. Small and thin and not too confident. Maybe that'swhat pushed me to the way I am but I'm not sure.Hey I'm not complaining. Really. I'm usually an upbeat personand pretty happy with my life, but sometimes just talking aboutthis gets me over the Lexi funk. And, sweety, thanks forlistening.I told you earlier about my first guy, Chuck, and how he made mehis girl. God, I loved him and miss him still. Thank you Chuckfor showing me who I really was. A girl in a guy's body. Ithappens more often than you think. Anyway besides the sex Iloved the way he would hold me. No not after. Very few guys dothat. I mean how he would hold me during it, the sex I mean,just making me feel like a real woman. The fact that he had medo all his friends, well, I forgive you Chuck. I really do. Ifyou want to read about that check the first story I posted 'K?I was one of the lucky ones, when I first started to dress, Ihad some help. It was Chuck's sister, Jean who took the time andshowed me the little secrets that.
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